Friday, April 15, 2011
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
A 5K Really?!
It all started as a normal uneventful day until 12:15 (Dun dun dun) I walk into the gym, signed in and started to walk in with Michelle and she says "I want to talk to you but let's get started first" this can't be good. Michelle is my trainer, and a very sweet person who actually cares, I just feel so bad for her because sometimes during our training sessions the devil enters her body and she makes me do horrible things like sweat.
So I hop on the treadmill and start my warm up and she wants to give me a challenge, I said sure (because I am a moron and agree to things blindly).
So now that I have pretty much agreed she informs me the challenge is a 5K I hold my breath for a second and sigh "Ok" before i can think she basiclly said "Good, we are starting training today lets crank this treadmill into warp speed" and the butt whooping began. I am not sure what a Bosu ball (you know that half ball thing that is flat on one side that you balance on) has to with 5K training, but it is a moronic thing that i am frightened to get on and once on am more scared to get off. Why did she put me on that thing again? Oh yeah, pure humiliation.
Oh yes for those who are interested, my diet is going crappy I am not eating enough and struggling. At last check i havnt lost any weight I have been fluctuating between the same 5 pounds. I am not worried though it will come.
It all started as a normal uneventful day until 12:15 (Dun dun dun) I walk into the gym, signed in and started to walk in with Michelle and she says "I want to talk to you but let's get started first" this can't be good. Michelle is my trainer, and a very sweet person who actually cares, I just feel so bad for her because sometimes during our training sessions the devil enters her body and she makes me do horrible things like sweat.
So I hop on the treadmill and start my warm up and she wants to give me a challenge, I said sure (because I am a moron and agree to things blindly).
So now that I have pretty much agreed she informs me the challenge is a 5K I hold my breath for a second and sigh "Ok" before i can think she basiclly said "Good, we are starting training today lets crank this treadmill into warp speed" and the butt whooping began. I am not sure what a Bosu ball (you know that half ball thing that is flat on one side that you balance on) has to with 5K training, but it is a moronic thing that i am frightened to get on and once on am more scared to get off. Why did she put me on that thing again? Oh yeah, pure humiliation.
Oh yes for those who are interested, my diet is going crappy I am not eating enough and struggling. At last check i havnt lost any weight I have been fluctuating between the same 5 pounds. I am not worried though it will come.
Monday, April 11, 2011
Saturday, April 2, 2011
Cookies brownies and get out of jail cupcakes
Today has been a day of ups and downs and if I didn't know any better I would say someone was playing a rotten April Fool's gag on me. We are trying to buy a house, and just getting the preapproval for financing alone is enough to make you want to jump off a bridge. Anyway by noon today my body was screaming for me to go get some get out of jail cupcakes.
Get out of jail cupcakes are just grocery store cupcakes, but for me they are ultimate comfort like a long term prisoner would feel after being released into their mother's arms.
So anyway since no one in my general area carry these cupcakes I went to the gym, I didn't work that hard because my body wouldn't let me, what it did though was make me want to cry. Then it made me want to get mad, but before it was all said and done I was laughing and forgetting my problems. That is when things turned for the better. My body was no longer screaming for dangerously sugary snacks that I would have eaten a dozen of. My phone started ringing with positive calls and we now have pre approval. We looked at some great houses, and had some great family time, then I went to one of those grocery stores that sell the infamous cupcakes. I didn't buy any. I bought chocolate chips, m&m's, brownie mixes (yes mixes)and many other baking ingredients. Don't worry, I havn't lost my mind. I am baking some goodies tonight for some hard working menhanging drywall at my church tomorrow and not a single one will pass through my lips. I won't even sample the dough.
I know there will be times that I will faulter, but today I didn't and I am proud of that. I survived today, and that is good enough for me.
Get out of jail cupcakes are just grocery store cupcakes, but for me they are ultimate comfort like a long term prisoner would feel after being released into their mother's arms.
So anyway since no one in my general area carry these cupcakes I went to the gym, I didn't work that hard because my body wouldn't let me, what it did though was make me want to cry. Then it made me want to get mad, but before it was all said and done I was laughing and forgetting my problems. That is when things turned for the better. My body was no longer screaming for dangerously sugary snacks that I would have eaten a dozen of. My phone started ringing with positive calls and we now have pre approval. We looked at some great houses, and had some great family time, then I went to one of those grocery stores that sell the infamous cupcakes. I didn't buy any. I bought chocolate chips, m&m's, brownie mixes (yes mixes)and many other baking ingredients. Don't worry, I havn't lost my mind. I am baking some goodies tonight for some hard working menhanging drywall at my church tomorrow and not a single one will pass through my lips. I won't even sample the dough.
I know there will be times that I will faulter, but today I didn't and I am proud of that. I survived today, and that is good enough for me.
Friday, March 18, 2011
A day of sun and disappointment
Today started out with my son being as defiant as he possibly could and nothing was going right. So I couldn't think of anything better to do than to go to the gym.
Yes, I said it, I have heard that exercise can lift your mood when you feel down and reduce stress, and guess what, it does, sort of.
I got there and started on the treadmill did ten minutes of intervals getting up to 3.5mph twice and stayed there for a minute, any faster and I would be jogging. I was pretty proud of myself, got off and started on the circuit and added 2 reps to each set at each machine. I am really cooking now. I have never gone this hard before without my trainer. I am going to tackle the elliptical, dun dun dun, this machine is my nemisis. I have never gone more than 5 min on that thing by myself, I was on fire today I'm going for it, even though this machine rattles my confidence, causes my muscles to burn and gets me completely winded. I get up I start and do to min rather slow, speed up to moderate with intent to go for 3 min then one minute hard, come back down to moderate for two and up again finally cooling down to finish ten min. I can do this, I just did it yesterday. I get to the moderate speed the first time and I am going I made it two min and I was feeling the burn, and I just quit, I gave up. I wasn't overly tired, I just felt like I couldn't go on. I said ok, I will finish this cardio interval on the treadmill, then... After two min I quit. What is wrong with me? I started my second set on the circuit machines, and finished that. Then my final cardio I hopped on the treadmill, two min passed and, I quit. By this time I was sweaty and felt exhausted, so I wasn't really upset I did in fact get a decent workout in. By the time I got home I was disappointed in myself, I can do it when Michelle is there, she doesn't get all screamy in my face, quit the opposite actually she is very encouraging and supportive, but why is it that I can do it for her and not me. I mean seriously, I pay her, and not saying she doesn't care on her own, but I pay her to, and I can't do it for myself.
This scares me because my 5 weeks is coming to an end and I am not sure if I can afford to do another session right away. I can do a membership but this was a test of how I would do on my own and I failed. I do want this, I want to be healthy I want to loose the weight. I want to have a baby, healthy pregnancy and delivery and especially healthy baby. This all relies on what I do now.
On the up side, it was a gorgeous day, after dinner my husband drove the kids to the park. It is only a block away but he wanted to make sure both kids got there and back safely. I decided to walk down and join them, afterwards I walked back home. In the past this walk back killed me, not because of the distance but there is a rather steep hill to climb going towards my house. I usually get horrible pain in my legs and knees and struggle to breath, but not today; it took me a literal min and a half to walk that block including waiting on cars so I could cross. I love that I can see those differences.
Yes, I said it, I have heard that exercise can lift your mood when you feel down and reduce stress, and guess what, it does, sort of.
I got there and started on the treadmill did ten minutes of intervals getting up to 3.5mph twice and stayed there for a minute, any faster and I would be jogging. I was pretty proud of myself, got off and started on the circuit and added 2 reps to each set at each machine. I am really cooking now. I have never gone this hard before without my trainer. I am going to tackle the elliptical, dun dun dun, this machine is my nemisis. I have never gone more than 5 min on that thing by myself, I was on fire today I'm going for it, even though this machine rattles my confidence, causes my muscles to burn and gets me completely winded. I get up I start and do to min rather slow, speed up to moderate with intent to go for 3 min then one minute hard, come back down to moderate for two and up again finally cooling down to finish ten min. I can do this, I just did it yesterday. I get to the moderate speed the first time and I am going I made it two min and I was feeling the burn, and I just quit, I gave up. I wasn't overly tired, I just felt like I couldn't go on. I said ok, I will finish this cardio interval on the treadmill, then... After two min I quit. What is wrong with me? I started my second set on the circuit machines, and finished that. Then my final cardio I hopped on the treadmill, two min passed and, I quit. By this time I was sweaty and felt exhausted, so I wasn't really upset I did in fact get a decent workout in. By the time I got home I was disappointed in myself, I can do it when Michelle is there, she doesn't get all screamy in my face, quit the opposite actually she is very encouraging and supportive, but why is it that I can do it for her and not me. I mean seriously, I pay her, and not saying she doesn't care on her own, but I pay her to, and I can't do it for myself.
This scares me because my 5 weeks is coming to an end and I am not sure if I can afford to do another session right away. I can do a membership but this was a test of how I would do on my own and I failed. I do want this, I want to be healthy I want to loose the weight. I want to have a baby, healthy pregnancy and delivery and especially healthy baby. This all relies on what I do now.
On the up side, it was a gorgeous day, after dinner my husband drove the kids to the park. It is only a block away but he wanted to make sure both kids got there and back safely. I decided to walk down and join them, afterwards I walked back home. In the past this walk back killed me, not because of the distance but there is a rather steep hill to climb going towards my house. I usually get horrible pain in my legs and knees and struggle to breath, but not today; it took me a literal min and a half to walk that block including waiting on cars so I could cross. I love that I can see those differences.
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Diet and exercise
Well after all, this is a weight loss blog right? Where is the diet and exercise? Just complaints so far, what's up with this crazy person? Well with posting through text sometimes my posts don't come through so I am posting my diet and exercise journal on twitter and Facebook, so please follow me/friend me. I want to specify that I am not on a fixed diet, I am making a lifestyle change and I will fail some days, but I hope my journey, at the very least will entertain you.
30 days to live
So right now I am doing all of my business on the phone(cell)including my blogging. Well while reading e-mails I received a text from a great friend. The text was a question that I have been pondering ever since.
WHAT 5 THINGS WOULD YOU DO/CHANGE IF YOU ONLY HAD 30 DAYS TO LIVE?
I was instructed not to take too much time and give the first 5 things that came to my head. I then sent them back to her. Since then I have been pondering them and have decided my priority has not changed but my thought process has.
My number one thing was to stop phoning in faith. I am a bible believing, God fearing,saved by grace christian. Am I? Yes but there are alot of people who may not know that who think they know me well. I don't have to walk around with a bible in my hand passing around tracks and preaching, but people that know me, at the very least should know where I stand. This also means to me that I am not doing something right. More soul searching there is needed, but why should I wait until I only have 30 days to live, to follow the very same God who created me and also decides my eternal life,heaven or hell.
Number two I would worry less and visably care more.
First of all why should I worry. Matthew 6:25-34 says:
25"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes?
26"Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? 28And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will He not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?
31"So do not worry, saying, `What shall we eat?' or `What shall we drink?' or `What shall we wear?' 32For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."
And as far as caring more, I sometimes am unsure how to deal with things even simple things and I shut down for lack of knowing what to do and sometimes seems as though I don't care.
Number 3 To give more to my husband and son.
Giving of myself to people that I am close to is harder for me than giving to those who aren't as invested. I know that is backwards and it does intact backfire on me often.
Number 4 Stop concerning myself with weight and being concerned with how beautiful I am or actually am not.
First off I am dying in 30 days right?! At this point dieting would just be stupid watch out Mexican restaurants and gourmet popcorn shops. And as far as my looks I will just go back to an old stand by statement for me, "it is what it is"
And finally number 5.
WHAT 5 THINGS WOULD YOU DO/CHANGE IF YOU ONLY HAD 30 DAYS TO LIVE?
I was instructed not to take too much time and give the first 5 things that came to my head. I then sent them back to her. Since then I have been pondering them and have decided my priority has not changed but my thought process has.
My number one thing was to stop phoning in faith. I am a bible believing, God fearing,saved by grace christian. Am I? Yes but there are alot of people who may not know that who think they know me well. I don't have to walk around with a bible in my hand passing around tracks and preaching, but people that know me, at the very least should know where I stand. This also means to me that I am not doing something right. More soul searching there is needed, but why should I wait until I only have 30 days to live, to follow the very same God who created me and also decides my eternal life,heaven or hell.
Number two I would worry less and visably care more.
First of all why should I worry. Matthew 6:25-34 says:
25"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes?
26"Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? 28And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will He not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?
31"So do not worry, saying, `What shall we eat?' or `What shall we drink?' or `What shall we wear?' 32For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."
And as far as caring more, I sometimes am unsure how to deal with things even simple things and I shut down for lack of knowing what to do and sometimes seems as though I don't care.
Number 3 To give more to my husband and son.
Giving of myself to people that I am close to is harder for me than giving to those who aren't as invested. I know that is backwards and it does intact backfire on me often.
Number 4 Stop concerning myself with weight and being concerned with how beautiful I am or actually am not.
First off I am dying in 30 days right?! At this point dieting would just be stupid watch out Mexican restaurants and gourmet popcorn shops. And as far as my looks I will just go back to an old stand by statement for me, "it is what it is"
And finally number 5.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)